Be the Action

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life," Albert Camus said.

Reasons why you need to reevaluate wanting attention:

1. Looking for love in all the wrong places
2. Nit-picking everything about yourself 
3. Relying on other people to make you happy
4. Not secure in your profession
5. Jealous of other people 
6. Throwing yourself in several random projects, and not 
finishing any of them
7. Negativity is your middle name right now
8. You're not comfortable alone
9. You're talking a lot about yourself, yet not making any physical changes.
10. You're relying on alcohol, smoking, shopping any other vice of your choice WAY too much.

With all these possible reasons, at the end of the day all you're doing is masking the problem. You are self-sabotaging, getting in your own way. Find the stimulus, and stop the negative reactions by craving attention.  

My struggle

I don't care how old you are, searching for your loved ones approval and support never goes away. Everyone wants to feel wanted, loved and appreciated. Unfortunately, when you don't get the attention from your loved ones, you dive into projects, intense workouts or relationships to fill that void or maybe that is just me. I will beat my head against a wall (figuratively, of course) trying to get that support, not in a five-year-old throwing a fit kind of way. Even though I am extremely independent, I rely on my close friends and family to help me feel reassured that I am doing the right thing with my life even though it is MY life. 

I want to feel confident in my own personal actions not through a man's affection or seeking approval from those close to me. I set high expectations for people, because I expect them to act like I do, express emotions like I do, and that is setting myself up for failure. I can not change people. You know the friends and family you call that will give you the blunt truth and hard hitting questions, and the friends and family you call when you need a sugar-coating response, and just a "I support you and love you," kind of talk. Sometimes, it is nice to have the I support you and love you response instead of the interrogating and judgmental questions. 

"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy," Anne Frank said.

It comes down to finding an identity, feeling confident in myself, and not depending on others to determine my happiness. I need to be secure with what I am doing, and what path I am taking, while trying to do the right thing. We depend sometimes on other people and materialistic things to make us happy, and we get so wrapped up in that, that we forget to be responsible for our own happiness. It is almost like we forgot how to make ourselves happy without other elements involved. Instead of waiting to react I need to be responsible for the action in my life.