Can you have your cake and eat it too?

The question we deal with all the time. It’s like when your career is going great, you have no love life or when you are getting in shape you loose friends or your refrigerator breaks down and then your water heater stops working. All cylinders are not always hot at the same time. We always wonder why we can’t have it all at the same time?

In 2011, I had bought a house, learned I was going to graduate early, received a 5,000 dollar scholarship, and had some great friends, but I was missing a love life. I wondered why can’t it all be great at the same time, come to realize it was me being selfish, because the other great blessings were enough.

My dear friend posed the question to me, “Can we have success and a love life at the same time?” I think the question is will our friends, loved ones, and sometimes even our family grow with us?

I have come to learn that it is okay to realize what friends you need and don’t need in your life. It is not really “having a falling out,” that is not necessary. People grow in different directions, specifically when you are focusing on your career, and trying to make life changes. Things get dicey.

I don’t have the same high school friends, or the same college friends anymore. One of my close girlfriends is the one that posed this question to me. I wish she was not so far away. We have the same goals in life. We want to be successful, and we fight most definitely, but it is never a blow out.

My father is a farm/rancher, and he is extremely smart. Sometimes he does not understand what choices I make. He is my Dad. He is going to worry, and have his opinions, as will everyone else. It seems like everyone can toss out opinions about other people, while we stay respectful and listen to them. STOP IT! You don't have to sit their and listen to what they think about you, and you sure as hell don't have to explain yourself when they are done. People just don’t understand sometimes. My Dad knows as much about broadcast that I have told him and he has witnessed with me being in this industry. Our parents come from a different time. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE TO FIND YOUR HUSBAND ANYMORE.

If you want to be successful, it does not mean you have to loose friends. You should never have to choose. Don’t look at it that way. The friends that are truly there for you, and understand your goals will never leave you. When I went home for five months to revamp myself, friends I thought were my friends did not talk to me. I could have taken that has a negative, which I did at the time. However, looking back I was just not in there sight anymore and was forgotten. THAT IS OKAY.

In saying that, if a friend is full of drama or negative all the time, I do not want to surround myself with that. I make a conscious decision to just let go that is not loosing friends that is only controlling what you and you must surround yourself with people that make you better. It is the same in a relationship. I want to be with someone that makes me better, where we can both bring out the best in each other, not the worst.

Before I met this guy, I thought I would not have a relationship for years. I don’t have one yet, but this looks promising. He is focused on making the air force a career, and I am focusing on making broadcast a successful career. We both understand that aspect. You should never hold a burden over someone’s shoulder, because they are so focused on their goals in life.

It’s funny, because I consider my friend the “Miranda of Sex and the City.” She is very driven and knows what she wants. I am the same way, but I tend to write a lot, so I try to play the role of Carrie. Ha We have both left friends and future boyfriends, because we knew that it will never work out with our life direction. You should never settle, because it is the "norm."

You can have your cake and eat it too, just realize what you need in your life and what you don’t. My mom gave me the greatest advice; “Don’t second guess yourself, when you feel like it is the right thing to do, do it.” You made your bed and now lie in it. If you go back to those decisions, you will wonder the inevitable “what if?” All that does is ruin your confidence and effect all your other decisions, specifically trying to become successful. Stick to your guns!