When did women become heartless and men become sensitive?

This post will be similar to something out of Carrie Bradshaw and Sex and the City. Fair warning. Yes, I understand she was a fictional character.

I would think most men like an independent woman...,but I can't find that in Lubbock for some reason, even though I am sure there are some of you here. I don't date jerks, I have gone for the nice guy and in turn it has ended worse than dating the douche bags. The nice guys want a needy girl, now mind you, I use to be. If any of my exes are reading this, they know I wanted a relationship and pushed too hard probably when I should have given up. However, guys now-a-days can not take a sign, just as bad as women do not want to face the music.

I am not corny, nor do I say the corny things men expect. After getting turned down so many times, I didn't change myself, I just stopped being scared to be myself. So, I don't beg, I don't keep trying when I know it is not going to workout. I stop communication, focus on myself and get back on track.

It's like this, in high school when I was in a relationship my mother told me to watch my priorities. I didn't realize how important that was until I graduated college and focused on my career. I want to make time for my significant other and I do, but it is still not good enough. I don't want my relationship to consume my life and priorities.

Do I want to feel loved and appreciated, yes. However, it is a little different. I want a guy that is proud of how hard I work and wants to be successful as well. I know I can't expect men to think the same way I do. I am not going to spend the night every night, I am not going to completely change my routine.

The past couple guys I have dated wanted me to put them first, they felt entitled to be in a relationship quickly, they want to exchange sweet nothings early on, and they definitely did not want me to be more successful than them. Now, I am no feminist, but this is turning me into one. From the guys I have gotten to know, they do not want a successful woman, they want a baby maker, stay at home wife or a fun time. These men did not care about my ambitions in life.

It ruins the chase. I am not in a high school mentality where I want things I can't have, but I still want passion and surprise. Movies may be the problem, where you see the successful guy in a tailored suit pick the lady up from work and they go to dinner, have a glass of wine, give each other a kiss and go home. I refuse to believe that does not exist. I want it to be easy and not a chore. If I want to be alone, I just want to be alone. Why take it personal like a woman would? Why make things emotional, sensitive and dramatic?

If I don't talk to a guy after an argument, then I am heartless. If I don't follow through on a make out outside of a bar, I was just "drunk". If I don't want to immediately jump in a relationship, then I am a damaged woman. It is strange. Men complain all day long about women being too clingy and emotional. Well, I guess I have been around the most sensitive men the past few years. If you want more from me, make an effort yourself.

"I'm sorry, but don't give me the cold shoulder."
"Why can't we just go all in? I'm tired of waiting."
"I miss you, I will change, but I need you to do the same."
"I just want you to put me first."
"You work too much."
"I wish you didn't focus so much on your health."
"I want to spend more time with you."

I, I, I. Me, Me, Me.

So, here is what I want just in case anyone is interested.

An ambitious man.
A man without huge insecurities.
A man who is not intimated by me. I am not Erin Andrews, nor do I think I am hot sh**, but I do know my sports, and I hope that turns you on, not off. A man who can watch a football game with me and argue is flirty and attractive.
A man who is confident, not cocky.
A man who is sensitive when need be, and a man who takes control when he knows he needs to.
A man who supports me, no matter the circumstance. I want to hear your opinion, but I want you to emotionally and physically support me.
A man who wants to get to know me.
A man with a great sense of humor, and demands attention in a crowd. Good attention.

The difference is a man vs. a boy. A man is proud to be with his woman, and feels confident with her and respects her. I don't want to be single for the rest of my life. I want to start a family someday. I am not going to apologize that my job takes precedent some days, and I want to be successful. I hope to find a man that can help me balance all my priorities, and respect me at the same time.