Weak Week

I am sorry to report to my blog followers that last week I fell off my healthy wagon. I let adversity get the best of me. I made a lot of things going on in my life negative and it controlled my decision making. I was weak, and I hate being weak.

Stimulus - 
1. Breakup
2. Work
3. Stress
4. Sick
5. Figuring out the future


Reaction - 
1. Ate processed carbs
2. Drank wine
3. Did not workout
4. Watched movies
5. Napped - lazy
6. Complained
7. Frustrated
8. Partied (I rarely party now.)
9. Sad songs....all day
10. Depended on my dog....yes, you read that correctly.

So, Sunday was the last of my moping. Monday was a surprisingly great day. I had a shoot with a breast cancer patient following her around and videoing what she has to go through on a weekly basis. This definitely put things in perspective. Being in a chemo room helped me think of the positives in my life that I take for granted.

My resolution fail. I should have known better to go grocery shopping after a breakup. Instead, I went to Sonic. Yeah I know, not Canes or Whataburger, but Sonic? Really? Cheesy tots work wonders. Being sick all weekend didn't help either. Chicken noodle soup is still a go-to sick fix. Any who, I went grocery shopping Monday, and now I am back on track. I know it is barely Friday, but I have not eaten processed carbs all week. I am getting into my routine again and working out. Good endorphins make me happy.

Breakup. I learned being in a relationships after four years of the single life, that I have some things I need to work on. I also learned that I shouldn't change myself like I was getting ready to do. I slowly started losing respect for myself and my independence. I learned what I needed in my life not what I wanted, I wanted a relationship so bad, it was not healthy. This wraps it up, "Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, make me feel important. Never forget this message when working with people," Mary Kay Ash said. It was not dramatic, and I respect him, we just wanted different things. There are no "juicy details" to discuss, if that is what you were looking for. I know it was strange that I was in a relationship for only three weeks, but we were headed in different directions. For once, I had a chance to handle this situation like a mature adult, and I am proud that both of us acted as such.


Work. I have been struggling to prove myself. I always feel like I am not good enough, instead of thinking I am good and can always get better. (That was the negative side talking.) I did not understand what all I needed to improve on. Don't get me wrong, my producing has drastically improved in a year's time, and I look at producing like it is an art form. I have been in this business for four years now, however, I have not been responsible for producing this kind of content/quality ever. I wanted to prove to myself and my boss that I am capable of meeting those expectations. Monday night I wrote down everything that I thought I was doing to the best of my ability, and next to that I wrote how I could do better.

Tuesday morning I came in to work on a mission, note my Facebook status, to become a stronger producer. I sat down at my editor and was there practically all day. Took a 30 minute lunch break, and went on one shoot, and sat back down at my editor. I fell in love with editing again. The moment I finished the package I had envisioned, I was ecstatic. The best work I had produced. Hands down. I can't wait for the source to watch her profile/feature.

Lesson Learned. There's no excuse to have a pity party, because I get stuck in a rut doing that. Getting mad at myself works out better than being pathetically sad. After last week, I was mad that I let the struggles get the best of me. I can preach on my blog all day long about my dedication, but I definitely waivered last week. I absolutely love what I do, and my job challenges me, which is a good thing. I am still very impatient. Making my health a priority should remain constant, even if I want to grab cookies n cream ice cream after a breakup. However, I know I need to leave room for slips, and not allow guilt to feel like a tidal wave. I am back on my health kick, proud of my work, feeling confident in myself, and ready to have 2014 be an epic year. BOOMSHAKALAKA! Happy Valentines Day! 

PS: This song I found is killer, check it out.
Do Ya Like Childish Gambino ft. Adele