Infiltrating Opinions and Finding Clarity

Why is it that people think they can tell you what to do, what they think is wrong with you or how you should live your life, and then proceed to act self-righteous as if they know all? I continue to tell myself, I don’t care what people think. However, it does plant a seed inside my head that bothers me when I am at my weakest.

My family is notorious for this. Unfortunately, I think that is what hurts the most. If I have to hear one more time, “are you lonely, when are you going to settle down, I just want a grandbaby, or do you have a problem,” I might lose it. In return, encouraging a problem to form. When you are genuinely concerned about the well-being of someone, you do not instigate the problem. 

I am the happiest I have been in a long time. Apparently, I do not exuberate my happiness enough. Last year, it was a trying time for me. I went through a lot with my career, and my career is a top priority of mine. I trusted in my family to vent to them about my weaknesses and struggles, and some hold my past over my head. Those are my hardships to deal with. This fall, I am blessed to work with some amazing people that put my mind at ease every single day.

I am 22, and the last I heard, you don’t need to pop out a baby at 22. Maybe my dating life is different to some. I usually make my mind up within two dates of dating the person. I am not picky. I just know what I want, and I have not found that yet, and am not willing to settle for the sake of a grand-baby. I am extremely independent. 

Maybe I am paranoid. My parents went through a divorce after 17 or 18 years of marriage. I say 17 or 18, because the divorce lasted quite a while. I can’t predict the future, but I would like a relationship/marriage that is right, and is forever.

The “do you have a problem, or are you lonely,” questions stem from my father thinking that we need to have a “coming to Jesus talk.” Side note: when parents say, lets have an adult conversation, it means let’s have a parent/child conversation. I know our parents will always want the best, and will always worry. However, as of late; I have never given my father or any other family members any reason to worry. They think differently. 

I own my house, my career is on track, and I take care of my adult responsibilities. In the past, I kept telling myself I would prove myself to my father, and to my family. I am not trying to prove anything anymore, and when some of my family members say, "Don't try and prove yourself," they mean to say "we are going to judge you anyway." I am not throwing them under the buss, even though they already have me within the past week, but I am a little disappointed in how naive they think I am. All I know is what I do on a daily basis, because no one else has to deal with me besides myself 24/7.

I don’t know what “problem,” he was referring to, but I do know I am good and it’s all good in my life. After interviewing the executive director for Ronald McDonald House of Southwest and talking with the owner of the small India Palace restaurant, it was a blessing from God.

God sent me two angels this past week telling me their stories, and the hardships they have had to endure. I thought to myself, at least I have a father to argue with, and even if my family is sometimes out of control, at least they care enough to have an opinion about my life. Even though I will not deny the fact that I was livid, I was privileged to receive some perspective.

When people try to tell you what to do with your life, you should listen and take a look in the mirror. It never hurts to reevaluate yourself, but once you’re done literally talking to yourself, go for a run or something motivating to build that confidence again. Last Monday, was a tough day, but Tuesday morning I was so sore from a seven mile run I could not think about the day before.   

The decisions we make to further our career, our lives, and our personal life, are educated, intelligent, well-valued decisions to better ourselves. Maybe our parents and other family members who grew up where you went to college to find your husband, you study what you did in college, because your father told you to, and you did not take risks, because of prior engagements; do not understand 2013.

I stop trying to explain myself and live my life. I have distanced myself in communicating with some members to try and assess my talks with them – to find clarity. After struggling with this past week and opinions of others that came to light, I received some encouragement, because typically it would tear me up, but now I run seven miles (the longest straight run I’ve ran since high school), and dealt with it. I did not call my friends to vent and continue the drama. I handled the situation like an adult, a responsible adult which proved to myself that the opinions they have of me are most definitely incorrect. 

I love my family, and my family loves me. God showed me the good side and the bad side of some people. Fortunately, I grew in my faith and I am thankful for that.